I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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