I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sober January is a disaster.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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