i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize