having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
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My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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