you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
