The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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