the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
