Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize