you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
