piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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