I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
