I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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