no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize