I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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