hotel room ftw
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize