Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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