Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
