brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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