I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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