So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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