I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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