Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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