its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
