It's like a parade of train wrecks.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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