Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
