I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
