She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
