i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
