Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
