How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
