I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
