I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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