I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
