i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize