I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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