Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
