lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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