Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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