Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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