it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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