I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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