Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober