1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.