That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.