I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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