my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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