her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
no you cant smoke seaweed
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag