I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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