after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
