your thong is hanging out like whoa
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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