I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
