i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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