When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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