Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
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Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Drunk is a universal language darling
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize