what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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