need another drink. this is the easiest way
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped