DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround