Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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