Me too!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
