is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
