Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
