i would punch a child for taco bell
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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