Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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