North Korea, Best Korea!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize